Official Kenya census reports 170,070 inhabitants for Kibera, Kenya’s most famous slum estate located in the capital Nairobi.

That’s unbelievable. For years we were told that Kibera hosts about 800,00 to 1 million inhabitants. All living in dire circumstances, no power, hardly any water, and bad hygienic situation. Almost like a national reserve for the poor.

For that reason it is a tradition for high ranking state guests to visit Kibera. Then senator Obama did it in 2006, and even ICC prosecutor Moreno-Ocampo did it early this year. They all say something has to be done to save the people.

Their call has worked. In Kibera now there are in between 6,000 to 10,000 organizations helping the poor. Next to that some 2,000 government agencies.

That’s one organization for every 15 inhabitants.

How on earth these people still live in the same circumstances they did 15 years ago?

With all the money pumped in they should have been millionaires.

The main reason for that is that these organizations don’t come with an idea. They do much wanted and appreciated relief work, but don’t tackle the root problem. Also too many of them are implemented by international students coming to do their gap years, benefiting them with a real African experience that shows up great on a resume.

Take bus 32 through Kibera. On a 10 minutes drive you will see all the signboards of these organizations. Lasting much longer than the projects they represented.

Let the all too creative people from Kibera look for their own daily life solutions, and they can. Set up their own NGOs with their own ideas. Then maybe if need be to accept management support. Because that’s world wide, most wonderful initiatives and companies die because of poor management.

A big signboard is calling me today on my morning Suna Road in Nairobi.

Pastor Ojigbani is going to marry you, and the motor bike to bring you to the venue is waiting for you.

The Kenya International Conference Center is quite something, built from 1966 to 1973 under Kenya’s founding father President Jomo Kenyatta.

KICC Nairobi

The website mentioned on the signboard is promising.

Singles an Married

If your were in doubt when, today is your today.

The metallic chalk letters are still on the front door. Counted in the Kenya census of last year. A young student came with a huge form. Asking several questions which were a bit funny in my view. ‘Does your house have a wooden floor?’ was among the most peculiar. Also whether me and fiancé had any cattle. So far we don’t.

The results are published. Kenya has an official population of over 38 million people.

The capital Nairobi is listed as the biggest city with over 3 million people, but only 20 camels. Two are to be found at Uhuru Park, one at Jamhuri Park, one at Mamba Village in Karen, two at Roasters restaurant on Thika Road and the other 14 in various other entertainment spots around the city.

The scarcely populated and predominantly Muslim North Eastern province however has 1.7 million camels, and still 68 pigs.

Cats and dogs were not counted, but surely the chickens.

There are 25.7 million free range chickens, and that’s just not enough to give every 38 million Kenyan one for free.

Happily the next census will be in 2019, so there is still time.

Hotel Afrique

Where it’s too go good to go to sleep.

An ordinary China made bicycle in Kenya.

It has an ordinary gadget with a special purpose.

The dynamo charges your mobile phone while riding to your favorite destination.

That’s great in rural areas where there is network, but no electricity.

Even greater that new enterprises are sprawling around it.

Some smart business men now charge your phone riding their bicycle for 20 minutes.

Pay something reasonable, and you’re all set again to communicate in abundance.

As presented this weekend on the Maker Faire Africa in Nairobi.

Will be generously featured in a future television report.

It’s on the historic signing of the new constitution on the 27th of August 2010.

Kenya’s president Kibaki here holding out the signed new constitution towards ICC-warranted president Omar al-Bashir of Sudan.

The Kenyan government signed the Rome Treaty and therefore should have arrested Bashir. But not according to the African Union which has vowed to resist the International Criminal Court.

Only that the AU does not have its own criminal court, which would be interesting.

Now how is Kenya going to deal with the expected ICC-warrants for prominent Kenya government officials and business men who where behind the post-election violence in Kenya in early 2008?

In Kenya some years ago there was big political turmoil because of the high rising maize flour prices.

‘Omena’ is another traditional dish which can wildly arouse moods when not available. These are the small fishes that are caught by the masses in Lake Victoria, and dried on its shore.

Wiki article

People in the Western parts of Kenya would go wild if they have to miss their Omena for one day.

So to be on the safe side, here is a recipe for the best taste.

1. Rinse the Omena by pouring warm water over them
2. Put the fat in a sauce pan
3. Add curry powder, tomatoes and coriander
4. Cook until soft
5. Add milk and Stil until properly mixed
6. Add the omena and water to cover to the gravy
7. Add salt and pepper
8. Cover and cook for a maximum of one hour

Enjoy.

Now Kenyan English has many of these so nice acronyms.

infomation
intergration
refridgeration

They combine logic with not fully knowing how to spell or to pronounce them, and it enhances the word’s meaning.

Take a walk from Nairobi’s Kibera slum to city centre, and you’ll arrive with many more.

Please post them there.

The astrologer who calls himself ‘compotent’ knows how to solve impotence.

Dr. Asuman solves politics and lost items in one sentence.

This is my favorite. Tracked them back to a group of missionaries from Mexico who gathered themselves after a Holy Virgin Maria sighting in Mexico. You really wonder how they end up on a backstreet in Kenya’s capital Nairobi.

Beacons of hope during my morning walk. Virtual solutions for all worries the sun shine can’t fix.

Anyone being in Nairobi for some time knows how a big hassle pick pocketing is. Walking on busy streets and public transport are the worst. You’re tied up in masses of people, and there is no way to guard your pockets. Boarding a bus easily results in being relieved of everything you were carrying. Myself one day I was in a matatu minibus, where a friendly gentleman carrying a briefcase took the seat next to me. During the trip the briefcase was bumping against my hip on the rhythm of the potholes in the street. Nothing wrong, until when you alight you discover miraculously your phone has gone. It’s a common trick I came to learn later, and now I understand where they can this from.

Other ways are just bumping into you, and have street children do the work. Others are even worse by just taking your phone from you when you’re making a call. That’s also the reason why so many people in Nairobi just keep their phones tight in their hands, because it’s just the best way to protect it, and you pick it easily.

So at the school in Dandora you can learn that at a reasonable price. Even for free, when you agree you will share future benefits with the teacher. Not that there is a particular class room, but you have to get in touch with him, and together with other students he will make an appointment with you.

For a week you will be briefed about the latest techniques, exercises to keep your fingers lean, budgeting, and observations lessons to easily spot wealthy people in the crowd.

From myself I remember having a pick pocket on my tail after I pulled 500 Euro for rent from the ATM. It’s like they smell what you have on you. This guy was carrying a big envelope, and took the seat next to me in an empty bus. There came the gentle knocks on my pocket, indicating what was about to happen. Gently looking the guy deep in his eyes, and alighting a few stops later, helped me keeping my stash.

After all this I concluded that following the course is the best way to avoid of all this.

The trainees have to quality to get their verbal certificate. Meaning they have to pass an exam. The teacher will go with them to a busy public place, with the task of getting as much as possible within ten minutes. The students then have they show what they harvested. The teacher will approve their skills, but hold up his own hands with wallets, phones and watches. ‘You guys did great, but still you missed this.’

Can’t wait to start my classes.

True, or not?